I am what it says I am

I prayed for forgiveness
not in fear of wrath nor hell
but rather weight of
selfish vain
a prayer to thee
for what i thought not sin
a prayer to interrupt
what goes around
by way of mere
justification

so when it was that
i crossed my chest
--my motives caught,
fell,
too hot to hold,
and there i stopped dead
in the tracks of my train

guiltily questioning
my relationship with that
to whom i pray